Genesis 2:24 reads: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife.” Marriage is an opportunity for a husband and wife to symbolically leave behind their families, their single life and their selfish desires and unite to become one in heart and purpose. However, leaving their families does not mean they have to forget about them but it does mean that their spouse is now their first confident, their best friend and the person who will help them overcome their challenges and problems.
As two people come together from two different backgrounds it can be a recipe for disaster or it can be the greatest opportunity for growth and to truly experience love and charity to their new family members from their spouses side. All parties involved, the husband/wife, both sets of parent in-laws and also both sets of sibling in-laws, should feel an obligation to learn about the new family member, get to know them, reach out to them and accept them into their family. I think that a greater level of acceptance begins when the new spouse expresses love towards his or her new family, rather than waiting to be shown love. In the book Creating Healthy Ties with In-laws and Extended Families, the authors write, “Marrying into a family that is different from yours or has different values can be a challenge. Demonstrating humor, exercising patience, overlooking small irritations, and looking for the positive can help in dealing with differences.”
Just as you would love your spouse, display patience and express forgiveness, these same principles of creating a solid marriage can be practiced with the in-law family and over time the word “in-law” can be dropped and they can be considered simply, “family.”
Take a moment to evaluate your relationship with your in-laws, what can you begin to do to show love, patience, and forgiveness in order to create a more harmonious family setting?
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