What constitutes a marriage? 

Does a piece of paper make a marriage? Does love make a marriage? Does an agreement between two people make a marriage? Or can marriage be defined as a covenantal agreement in which both parties agree to never cease in their commitment towards one another?

If a piece of paper is considered a marriage and can be torn up or thrown away at any time, could that not mean then that the marriage could be torn apart or thrown out when it becomes outdated, obsolete or to much work?

If simply love makes a marriage then when that love is gone does it mean the marriage can simply be gone also?

If an agreement makes a marriage then when the terms of that agreement are fulfilled, broken or changed does that agreement become null and void?

A covenant is described as an agreement, contract, commitment, guarantee, warrant, pledge, promise or bond. It also represents to “commit oneself or bind oneself.” In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we learn that “Marriage is ordained of God.” We also know that God makes His word His bond. Never will He make a promise and not keep it. If two people enter into a marriage with the understanding that they are not only committing to each other but they are also committing to God, would we not see a much lower divorce rate as well as a greater desire to appease each other and rid ourselves of selfishness or individualism? Selfishness and individualism are two things that often tear a marriage apart.

Elder Bruce C. Hafen, while speaking about the difference of a covenant marriage and a contract marriage he said, “When we observe the covenants we make at the altar of sacrifice, we discover hidden reservoirs of strength.” 

The temple affords us the blessings of creating a covenant marriage. In the temple a husband and wife make a covenant before God and witnesses, a covenant and commitment to a marriage both here on earth and one that continues on for eternity. They have an understanding of what makes a successful marriage and are promising, even, binding themselves, to a commitment of the success of their marriage. 

A covenant marriage is one where the commitment is understood. It’s more than a piece of paper, it’s more than love, it’s more than an agreement. It is a commitment to something greater than their individual selves. It’s a commitment to God, each other and their future posterity. 

Sources:

lds.org

This week I had the opportunity to read the ruling from the Supreme Court regarding same-sex marriage. I read from both sides of the argument and found it fascinating. I enjoyed reading this document, however I also found both sides of the argument very persuasive. As I read the reasons behind why the law suit was brought all the way to the top of the supreme court I could understand what was trying to be accomplished. I felt compassion for the same-sex couples who wanted many of the same rights that are enjoyed by couples in traditional marriages. I had such a narrow mindset about same-sex marriage prior to this weeks reading but found that as I become more educated on the famous ruling my eyes were opened and my view was broadened.

However, I found Justice Robert write up equally compelling. The biggest point I think he makes is when he explains what the role of the Supreme Court is. He reminds us that they are not there to act as a legislature nor are they there to twist the law to match their own theoretical, religious or philosophical view.  

As I pondered over the compelling arguments from both sides I realized I kept going back to the fact that the law of the land cannot change the law of God. As was said in so many words by President Nelson as well as the other Apostles over the last few years, man cannot change the laws of God and sin is sin whether it is legalized or not.  This was a moment where I had to step back and think who was I going to side with and verbally, spiritually and emotionally support? Is it going to be those who are in support of same-sex marriage or will I support the laws of God although they are unpopular and ridiculed?

I know where I stand in my heart. I stand with God and his unchanging law. I stand with His Prophets and Apostles and defend the sacred union of marriage as it has been instituted by God. I will also love and show compassion for those who do not see it the same way I do. For Christ loved all and I am commanded to do the same. 

Can a couple enjoy and even happily endure a marriage in the 21st century? Just 100 years ago the average divorce rate was about 10% according to Audrey Jones who is a current divorce attorney. Today in 2016, the divorce rate has jumped to an almost staggering 50%. Not only is the divorce rate high, the amount of people who decide to marry is dropping each year. More couples are choosing to cohabit, have children out of wedlock or are choosing to live single. 

According to State of Our Unions: Marriage 2012 “As a culture we seem fixated on marriage, from the extravagant $50 billion we spend annually on weddings to our active debate about same-sex marriage, especially among high school but not college educated young people, for whom raising children amid unstable cohabiting relationships and serial partnerships is in danger of becoming the new norm. This rapid decline of marriage among the almost 60 percent of the nation who are high school educated but not college educated, those whom we might call “Middle America,” has been dramatic. As recently as the 1980s, only 13 percent of the children of moderately- educated mothers were born outside of marriage. By the late 2000s, this figure rose to a striking 44 percent. And in marked contrast to past calls for attention to changing trends in family structure, today almost none of our political and social leaders are talking about this dramatic change.” 

I believe it’s safe to say that we can all agree that there has been an evolutional change from the thousands of years of traditional marriage. Usually we see that history repeats itself. However, when it comes to marriage, history is not repeating itself. Our so called "normal" marriages have changed and now we see a greater abundance of cohabiting couples, single mothers and same sex marriage is now legalized in our society. Is the decline in our society and the American economy due in part to the lack of traditional family unions? 

“Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage fosters small cooperative unions—also known as stable families—that enable children to thrive, shore up communities, and help family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times. Researchers are finding that the disappearance of marriage in Middle America is tracking with the disappearance of the middle class in the same communities, a change that strikes at the heart of the American Dream.” Stated by State of Unions; Marriage 2012.  

Marriage is necessary for an economy to thrive and from The Family: A Proclamation to the the World we learn that “the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” Both spiritually and temporally, marriage and the family are necessary for the success of any civilization and is a commandment of God. We have both an obligation and duty to support and sustain this sacred institution.